I last posted back in August 2019, I didn’t realise it had been so long. A lot has changed since then.
I am now seeing a new dermatologist (Skin specialist) that has started to do wonders for my immune condition and my leg ulcer.
[ Quick recap – I’ve had a large leg ulcer for 5 years, which the drs couldn’t heal and only October last year they finally found out I have an autoimmune condition where my body attacks its self and there is no cure for it. ]
The new dermatologist has put me on new medication and sending me for regular blood test also over the past 4/5 months I have been on a pain medication reduction and I am now very close to coming completely off of my pain medication. It’s been really hard and painful but I am feeling better for it.
My Life in general
Back last year I had a big, big dip in my depression, I was on a downward spiral and didn’t know how to get out of it. I pretty much gave up on everything apart from my children, they were the only thing keeping me going and then 1 day I failed at that as well, I had lost a ton of weignt because my condition had attacked my teeth and it hurt everytime i ate, I wasn’t sleeping and my anxiety was getting worse and worse. This, mixed with problems with my medication, broke up my relationship with my husband. At the time I still needed his help, we have 3 children and I couldn’t look after them on my own. We decided it would be best for both of us to live in the same house, I started sleeping downstairs and made the dinning room into my new bedroom. This worked for a few months however the arguments carried on and it really wasn’t fair on the children.
With help from my mother-in-law we managed to sort out eveything that was needed for me to be able to move out. I moved back to my mums house with my eldest son.
It broke my heart that medical reasons stopped me taking my younger two girls with me!
My girls are only 9 and 4 years old and I am unable to get them to school everyday and would struggle because of my medical condition. It completely ripped me apart when I had to leave them with their dad but I knew it would be the best thing for them.
I still get to see them, they come to me straight after school on a friday and their dad picks them up monday morning to take them to school. Its been 4 weeks now and I cry every time after they leave.
I am still on talking terms with my ex and we talk better now than ever did before. I am on the road to recovery with my depression and starting to feel more like myself again.
I am now on a journey to get back to my old self and then push myself even further, I want to get my life back on track and make my life better than it has ever been before. I want to show my children that even if you hit rock bottom, there are people out there to help you and you can get back to being the best version of yourself and live a life that you love.
I am going to be taking you with me and sharing some of the things i’ve learnt along the way.
I would really appreciate anyone that has been in a situation like this or anyone that has pushed themselves to make their lives better to leave a comment or just say hi!